Monthly Archives: May 2013

Work Out


White GoodmanWell here we are within the month of May. That time of year when people get out and about to enjoy the fresh air and revel in what will soon be summer. With this brings us what I’d like to call “Spring/Summer Work-Out Season”. You know, that time of year when the sidewalks are packed with dog walkers, pace walkers, runners and even families just out for a stroll.

I myself do enjoy a nice walk and activity and I like to join in as much as I can. I love walking or riding my bike with my kids around the block or to a nearby park or maybe a walk through the woods to enjoy the outdoors. For some it’s making the time due to busy lifestyles. For many it’s the drive to stay healthy. Which got me to thinking: What’s the true motivation to “Get Active”? For many activity makes people feel good, helps people sleep better, make people look better which in turn will make you feel better about yourself, which is great; I commend that.

But for myself I can struggle with the drive to do so. Overall I’ll get it done, get in some “work” as the true athlete may say, but I have to work on it. I used to play softball 2 nights a week and throw in some golf with that and there you have an active week. Now, I’m shuffling kids here and there, taking care of household things and by 8pm and grabbing a sandwich before bed.

OliviaNow, if you toss at me the $500,000 “workout bonus” the great Aaron Rodgers receives per his new contract, hell I’d work out too. I’d be that ass bag at the gym asking to “get in a set” and push you off of a machine for half a mill. I’d be the Monica Seles of the gym grunting and groaning my way to more muscle mass to count my dough, baby! I’d crank up the Olivia Newton-John “Let’s Get Physical” on my iPod and get that work in for a nice hot paycheck. Man I’d run like Forrest Gump! Anything I’d need to do to get paid!

Added, when did getting out and about take on an entire new wardrobe? I see people in spandex/dry-fit shirts, pants, gloves, hats and even shoes it seems. All of which are specific for “working out”. And by God you can sure as hell spot these folks as the colors are neon, man. Lit up like a pack of teens running to a rave. Then there are the TV ads for various types of “programs”. I personally like the “Insanity” commercials. Watching and hearing of the near vomit stages people get to I guess is amusing. I personally would like to try it but I also think I’d need to be in fact insane to TRY the Insanity workout. Regardless of your desired attire, whatever makes you comfortable and safe is all good by me.Dan A.

Many people find the drive in being active in becoming better at an event, like a better time of a 5K, half marathon or triathlon. One of my dearest friends Dan Andraschko (or “The Dutch Duke” as I like to call him) recently finished his 19th half-marathon. 19 for Christ sake! He’s an animal with this shit, and he’s good! I’m just amazed how he turns in such great times while running in those wooden shoes. And man, those blisters, but he’s a bad ass and he’s got drive and that’s what matters.

This past winter I had what was a staph infection in my right leg. Now I wish I had a great lore-like story of how I got that; something like I cut myself while in flight off a dismount of a pommel horse in Amsterdam, but there isn’t one. So I lost some time and now I’m trying to make up for it. Going for a walk, then a faster pace, get in some golf if I can and then add in some yard work and it makes me feel good. For me, being active is about weight control and my kids. It’s just how it has to be for me. Whatever it takes for you to get off the couch and enjoy the outdoors or activity. By all means find that “it” that will make you go and get after it. In all, we mere mortals do not have the prize of $500K to stay in shape. In all we need to take that $500K in value of a better healthier life, to feel better for ourselves and to in some ways do it for our kids to get them active as well.

richard_simmons2As well, Damn right Rodger’s gets $500K to work out. About time my man got paid!

Now, go have some fun in the sun and I’ll catch up to you if I can…




Through the past few years I’ve noticed advertising campaigns for various condiments. Ketchup, mustard, hot sauce, you name it, someone and/or some company is pushing what they feel is the latest and greatest additive to pour on your food or dip your snack into. The reason why I take notice to this is that it is, in fact, everywhere! Going back some time ago, I can recall when you had potentially only a few options of various additives to douse on your snack or meal: Ketchup, mustard, relish, and hot sauce. Then some time went by and a few years ago started the Ranch Dressing craze. I see people putting Ranch dressing on just about anything. It’s gone so far that I’ve noticed servers within restaurants noting the term of Ranch dressing simply as “Ranch”. “A side of Ranch, please.” It’s now a one word name. Ranch! When the hell did Ranch Dressing officially get the higher calling to be placed on the pedestal to become a one-name condiment? It’s like overnight that shit became famous and was given one name!  Elvis, Madonna, Cher , Sting, and Ranch!

I recently took my kids to a predominant “wing serving” restaurant. When ordering, we were given the various types of sauces in which we could coat our wings. Of course, this varied from person to person; however, at what I thought was to be the end of our order, came a Senate Judicial Committee Hearing questioning us on the various types of side sauces that were available. It was Ranch, Blue Cheese, Chipotle, Barbecue, Spicy Ranch, Chipotle Ranch, Honey Mustard, Spicy Mustard and so on. I even think I heard an option for a Chipotle Ranch Honey Mustard Horseradish, but I could be wrong. And it’s not just on certain types of food.   I’ll be damned if I don’t see everywhere someone putting Ranch dressing or some sort of additive on EVERYTHING. It’s put on wings, cheese, veggies, hot dogs, pizza. Hell, when my Lady Friend (TLF) eats pizza, it looks like a Heinz truck tipped over on her slice! It’s hot sauce, wasabi, horseradish sauce, parmesan cheese, and, I think, crushed red pepper. However, I do respect it. It’s how you like it. May not be my way, and my way may not be yours, but all of the sauces sell at some point and people like them, and it, I suppose, in a way, makes them enjoy their food more. Or as some parents will do, pour whatever it takes on whatever you’ve made to get the kids to eat it! My son Kyle is indeed a fan of the Ranch. If he’s squeamish of eating a veggie, dip it in that stuff and put it down, pal! Just get the veggies in you I guess? It’s sometimes what you have to do.

It’s become a craze to mix and match some sort of new design with what is actually just a side sauce. I must admit I am a fan of various types of sauces, and variety is nice. I like a little spice, a little kick to sort of set things off, but I do, in fact, keep it simple. It’s hard enough to keep the daily database of life together. Now, we need to add a library of side sauces to life. It just seems a bit overboard to at times.

I hope as this summer approaches you can all be near family and friends with various cooking and activities to have a good time. Just think of me and take a look at the variety of side sauces. It could be interesting.

Now, I best be off as a certain someone is late for his guitar lesson. I present to you the next music sensation! I think he’ll go by the name of “Ranch.” I can see it now: “Ranch: Live In Concert.” I’ll be backstage making sure he eats his veggies and dip.


Fear and Loathing in the Cab


Recently I and my Lady Friend were passengers in a taxi cab. The premise was not that we were impaired to drive, it was for the reason that I was in a town I am not too familiar with. Thus, from hotel to “gathering place” I decided why fart around with driving aimlessly, in a way, and have a local pro take on the job to get us to where we need to be with little hassle. Well let me tell you, this was a scene.  ny-taxi

So we’re at a hotel, a fairly new one but with a prominent name, thus any confusion on a similar or like place did not exist. This particular hotel was essentially the one and only with that chain name. You can’t miss it. Anyway, I call for the cab and they state they can have a driver to me in 10-15 min. I figure this is great and get ready and away we go. We wait outside of the hotel for the cab and driver. Cab shows up after 15 min outside, thus I call it they were 10 min late. The cab looks typical, standard cab but is a van. I figure no problem, seen this before and move along, get ready for the ride. The sliding door opens and in the front passenger seat is a small older lady holding a purse and some shopping bags it appears. We then notice a guy, in the middle seat of the van working his way to the far back 3rd row seat to make room for us in the middle main riding seat. Lady and I think this is odd and maybe this is a share thing and we proceed to get in. Just as we step closer to the open door, the smell hits us. This stench was some sort of mixture of body order, stale cigarettes and what my guess was at some point, urine. I look and my Lady and she looks at me and we both had the “I’m about to throw up” look on our face.

Now the driver is Chatty Cathy with a light beard, baby. She’s giving us the low down on the weather, spewing some rant about “The F-ing Roundabouts” and such and we just sort of smile and nod while trying not to take in the aroma of the ride. Suddenly the front passenger asks a question to the driver and the voice is that of a 5-year-old girl; high-pitched and mumbled wherein we cannot make out what she’s asking. The tone was so odd coming from someone so old. Just then the dude in the back starts laughing and the driver comments “That’s not today. She does that tomorrow.”  The 5-year-old voice from the 60+ year old lady pipes back in asking for more info, again high-pitched and gravely. At the same time the dude in the back pipes in laughing again. This ride had turned into a flash into Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas! It was Bizzaro-World! I turn to my Lady Friend and the look in her eyes is the same as mine as we realize we’ve been abducted by Carnies!

carnyDamn straight, folks! I was sold on that this adventure was not what we had planned and these three were taking us with them. Away to a land wherein we would be seasoned and groomed for the upcoming fair and Carnie season. We’d be taught how to fry various meats and dough on stick, be taught to spray the ping-pong ball toss fish bowls with Pam just like Joe Dirt! We’d need to have teeth removed and get tattoos! As scared as I was that this would become the future of my life, I was excited! Yeah, man! See the mid-west for a summer with these guys. Hell; lose some teeth, listen to a lot of Skynard, Nickelback and grow a mullet! Hell yeah man!

Then suddenly the van stops at our requested destination and I sort of “came to”. It must have been the musty air that sent me on a brain acid trip to the Land of Carnies. I open the door, toss the driver who I’m guessing summers as the Tilt-a-Whirl operator some cash and get out.

With my Lady in hand, we are on our way. Never though do we forget our magical trip, the one that could have been that stellar summer job had they had their way with us. Or in her mind a nightmare. Now I catch myself dreaming of us in a T-Top Trans-AM with my mullet flowing in the breeze on our way to run the Scrambler and guess weights.

In the end all things work out I guess as I’m not much for funnel cake and The Lady Friend hates mullets. Still workin’ on that Trans-AM however….

See ya!